Online Dating Is Hard

Some recent conversations from my attempts at navigating the online dating game.

Imagine the absolute mental breakdown a squirrel would have in a fishtank.

She must be one of those people that always takes the dog’s side, no matter what.

I thought it was a great 1st date idea.

“Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.” – Kenneth Powers

I think I meant to say “dental dam” but mouth condom works too.

uncle threw the gerbil

Instead of asking about the psychological impact something like this would have on a child she asks about the gerbil? Those things only live a few years anyways.

This really shows that I’ve grown as a person and it didn’t seem to matter to her.

People from Eastern Pennsylvania have such a superiority complex.

See, I could have lied here of left out that I typically don’t date women with children but I though honestly was the best policy – not in this case I guess.

I probably should have kept this to myself.

This goes back to my theory that women don’t like emotional men.

Finally, someone with a sense of humor.

Chicks love guys with mental disorders.

Apparently this isn’t even an option that vets offer.

Sometimes you have to be upfront and ask the important questions.

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