The Fancy Dinner In A Small Town Starterpack

fancy restaurants in a small town

Many people who live in small towns throughout the United States are often given little options in the way of fine dining. Of course not every town has these restaurants but the ones that do usually have them in the form of a miracle mile that’s chuck-full of chain restaurants, car dealerships, and Walmarts – driving mom and pop businesses out of town and creating a very generic choice-set for local restaurants.

Some of these include but aren’t limited to:


“Let’s have our wedding reception at Applebee’s” – said no one ever. I remember in high school Applebee’s offered half-off appetizers from 7pm-9 every night. We quickly took advantage of that because we were broke and could get a dozen wings for $3.50. That promotion quickly ended when they crunched the numbers and figured out people were only going for the half-off special.

Olive Garden

It’s hard to resist the never-ending bread bowl and all you can eat salad. Many families in small towns flock here to experience fine Italian dining and cheap cocktails. Say what you want about the place but it’s become an American staple.

P.F. Chang’s

Does anyone know what the P.F. stands for? Poor Food maybe? My stomach still hasn’t forgiven me after eating there once and spending the next morning curled around a toilet bowl.

Red Lobster

The cheesy bread has become wildly popular to the point of where you can actually buy the ingredients to make at home. The secret ingredient? Salt and butter. A great place to check out if you’re on the Paula Deen diet.

Longhorn Steakhouse

Cuz f*ck taking your kids to Ruth’s Chris am I right?

Cheesecake Factory

You know there’s a problem when a restaurant’s specialty is everything. Consumer choice is one thing but when you’re inundated with a 16-page menu it makes you scratch your head and wonder if they’re actually taking their time with anything.    

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