The Cherokee Fade

Cherokee Fade: Leaving the bar without informing any of the people you came with. Usually occurs after consuming large amounts of alcohol and you get the sudden overwhelming need to be home. Also can be used when you leave the bar with someone who was not in your original group without letting anyone know.

Why catch shit for being a pussy when you can just dip without saying goodbye?

Here is the original document. Under the document are some classic fades, curated by the original group. The Apache Fade has yet to be pulled off……….

the original cherokee fade documentThe Full Court Press Fade

When 2 or more members of the opposite sex – often ticklish and heavy-set in stature – corner you in a bar and try to get you to pull the Cherokee Fade with them; despite your multiple attempts to break free and rejoin the group.

The Chameleon Fade (anti-fade)

When you pass up on pulling the CHEROKEE FADE with the sole intention of blending in with the group just to get another free drink and a free ride home!

Reverse Fade

When you’re with a guy who is just dropping bombs on some girl and totally ruins it for everybody. The whole group then decides the night is best carried on without said individual. Covertly, the tab is closed out and while the guy is in the bathroom the whole group just bounces without him.

Bounty Hunter Fade

You have a stage 5 clinger in the area who’s stalking you like there’s a price on your head. Suddenly, you spot her from across the bar and the words “God Damnit” creep in your head. A feeling of panic sets in as you franticly search for an escape. Fire exits, 2nd story windows, or waiting it out in the men’s bathroom are never ruled out.

The Window Washer

When you track down a friend who, earlier in the night, pulled the Cherokee Fade with a person of the opposite sex. You act preoccupied yet peer intently into his closed world as he continues to conduct business with his Fade accomplice – completely unaware that he is now performing in front of an audience.

The Boston Strangler

(WARNING: this move is intended to be used only on those known to be habitual offenders of “The Chameleon”) – When a friend whom everyone has little respect for is about to pull off a rare Cherokee Fade with a member of the opposite sex. You act oblivious to his attempt and demand the two join you for a round of shots. After a 2nd round and a couple clever one-liners, she laughs harder and harder. It’s apparent that she has called off the Fade. Your friend wants to kill you but realizes it will only make him look like a jackass; as she is now having the time of her life. Everyone in the bar knows you are guilty of a cock block, however the evidence is purely circumstantial. You walk free.

The Muskrat

When you pull a Cherokee Fade with an unattractive person of the opposite sex knowing you’ll get get shit from your friends the next day.

The MacGyver

You run into an ex at the bar whom your boys have given you a ton of schtick for, in most cases contributing to the breakup. After rekindling the spark over a shot in the absolute farthest possible spot from your friends, you realize you have a proper buzz to take her home and risk the consequences. You tell her to meet you outside in order to go “close out your tab” then go up to one of your friends and tell them you’re off to another bar in search of better quality meat.

You proceed to the door with an overinflated, false sense of accomplishment.

The Tar And Feather

When a member of the group, notoriously known for Cherokee Fading, mysteriously, and unannounced, begins making his way towards the bar exit….You take it upon yourself to stalk said Fader, keeping a close yet inconspicuous distance, until he physically crosses the exit of the bar. You quickly swoop in, and at the top of your lungs call him out in the middle of the street, explain to all of those within earshot of your friend’s plan, and publicly humiliate him [bonus points for getting random patrons to join in the beratement with a human microphone].

You make eye contact, grinning ear to ear…..a subtle acknowledgement is made by the accused. Your friend still goes home, but you have successfully ruined his fade and in quite dramatic fashion.

The Wicked Witch of the West

When you have all but pulled off the Cherokee Fade with an attractive member of the opposite sex when she suddenly informs you that she comes with baggage – in the form of an unattractive, heavy-set friend. Knowing it is your only chance to pull the Fade, you graciously invite the friend join, well aware that there will be no friends of yours willing to occupy her at the next stop. Once at the final destination, the friend refuses to be left alone – demanding attention from your fade accomplice as she whips around on her imaginary broom eating everything in site.

You make a last-ditch attempt to tranquilize her with the hodge podge of alcohol you’ve hidden away for completely opposite occasions, but it only fuels her evilness and desire to party. You throw in the towel and call a cab as you push the two out the front door. Your house is a wreck and you go to bed alone and angry.

The Lebanese Surprise

For reasons unknown, you put in more work than should ever be required. You stalk your prey for hours, ignoring all camaraderie and said protocol for the event attended. Friendships mean nothing, calls to grandmother, forgotten… Everyone’s trash is your treasure. Regardless of witnessing half the bar go tongue deep in your victim you still pursue. Logic? There is none…

The effort put in can only be compared to the German’s invasion of Poland. Just when “consent” can no longer be legally proven, you strike. Telescoping left to right, you grab and bee-line for the door, hoping there are no witnesses. To her dismay, your Hezbollah tactics reign supreme. You stiff-arm security personnel thinking your actions have gone unnoticed… You are, the LEBANESE SURPRISE

The Vultured Robin

When at the bar, you make eye contact with a member of the opposite sex whom you are fond of. You tread toward her lightly as you search the bar for twigs and twine and anything else you can find to build the perfect nest to fade her to. You call her over as a round of shots is on the way. You have her complete attention as you talk shit about your group of friends. Suddenly you notice out of the corner of your eye, a better looking friend of yours b-lining your way. You start to sweat… then hear the dreaded, ‘Cawcaw, cawcaw!!’

With no time to react, you turn around and see your hoped-accomplice vanishing into the night. Your friend just vultured your ass. The nest lay empty.

The Hungry Hungry Hippo Fade

It is late night at the bar after some good dance sessions and numerous cocktails down the pipe when across the bar, people start resembling your favorite late night food items (eggs, bacon, mozzarella sticks, pizza…). You look around the group and it does not seem anyone is interested in eating quite yet so you “go to the bathroom” and sneak out the back door of the bar. As your tummy is gurgling and you are starting to see a mirage of food in the middle of the road, you notice a group of randoms piling into a cab so you hop in, hoping no one will notice that you are not part of the crew. Mid-way down the street, one of the drunks realizes they cannot identify you and after a few awkward questions and a good chuckle, you nicely ask if they can drop you off at the closest Waffle House. Once you arrive, you grab a swivel chair at the bar, eat your heart out at rapid speed, while grinning and making small chat with the waiters and the creepy guys next to you. Once the meal is complete, you realize you need a ride home so you call a cab. As you are approaching your apartment, you drunkenly look into your wallet and realize you have no cash. You ask the driver if you can give an IOU and he tells you to get out of the car angrily.

You shrug your shoulders and walk the rest of the way home with a full tummy and reminisce of the great meal you just had while your friends are at the bar wondering where you creeped off to.

The Married Bitch

It is late night at the bar after some good dance sessions and numerous cocktails down the pipe when across the bar, people start resembling your favorite late night food items (eggs, bacon, mozzarella sticks, pizza…). You look around the group and it does not seem anyone is interested in eating quite yet so you “go to the bathroom” and sneak out the back door of the bar. As your tummy is gurgling and you are starting to see a mirage of food in the middle of the road, you notice a group of randoms piling into a cab so you hop in, hoping no one will notice that you are not part of the crew. Mid-way down the street, one of the drunks realizes they cannot identify you and after a few awkward questions and a good chuclke, you nicely ask if they can drop you off at the closest Waffle House.

Once you arrive, you grab a swivel chair at the bar, eat your heart out at rapid speed, while grinning and making small chat with the waiters and the creepy guys next to you. Once the meal is complete, you realize you need a ride home so you call a cab. As you are approaching your apartment, you drunkenly look into your wallet and realize you have no cash. You ask the driver if you can give an IOU and he tells you to get out of the car angrily. You shrug your shoulders and walk the rest of the way home with a full tummy and reminisce of the great meal you just had while your friends are at the bar wondering where you creeped off to.

The “Shame on You” Fade

A friend of yours has a 1st date with a very attractive female. She wants to bring along a girlfriend to ease the pressure of “1st date jitters”. Your friend invites you to join the group stating “Yo, I’m goin out with this hot chick tonight and she’s bringing her hot friend…I’m gonna hook you up”. You are thoroughly excited about the date thinking to yourself “This never happens!”. The 2 girls arrive to the house and, as expected, your friend’s girl is quite attractive. However, “your girl” can most aptly be characterized as a Clydesdale…a 3.5 AT BEST. During the entire Evanesence concert you become more disgusted with the situation and step away from the group…leaving the impression you simply went to get a beer or use the restroom. Instead you hail a cab and race to Red Door in an attempt to salvage your saturday night. Shame On You for thinking in our circle of friends someone would actually hand you over a hot girl on a silver platter.

After Party Hail Mary

You and your buddies are planning a night out as usual. We call it a night out but really it’s more like a safari for the best looking trophy we can find. Our prior hunts have thought us we always had more success in packs. Deep down I almost feel bad for the groups of girls we meet. Girls with daddy issues or anything less then the hottest girl in the group are the weak ones and obviously the easiest to persuade for this particular fade. Numerous rounds of shots are had an the packs number dwindle to a few that can hang for the long haul. a few girls are pulled away from their group against their friends wishes but they just can’t resist the attention. It’s decided that an after party will be had at your buddies place.

Everyone catches a ride back the heavy artillery is broken out. A bottle of something hard to seal the deal, ie tequila, vodka, you get the point. At some point you notice the hot chick is missing and everyone else is passed out. This is when it dawns upon you, your last chance is being enjoyed by one of your buddies. You decide to not go down without a fight. So you go around to the bedrooms and put your ear to the doors. Sure enough you find them and the noises within are exactly what you expected. It’s time to throw the hail mary.

You fade into the room, act as though nothing out of the ordinary is happening and begin to undress. – She’s not going to know how to take this* but just remain calm like this happens every day and your buddy must reassure her nothing is wrong. Once you get her calmed down your home free. Jump in bed begin to interact. Congratulations my friend, you just threw a Hail Marry to win the Superbowl.
* words of caution – this is only to be performed those with exceptional game and/or impressively large cranks.
DO NOT try this with your buddies gf

The Cop-out

You are out with the fellas on one of the few nights your girlfriend has let you leave your domicile. Slaying drinks and hitting on anything in sight is your only mission. After being turned down by countless sets for once again taking your negs too far, you keep the shots coming. You lost track of time long ago, and, unbeknownst to you, your buddies have already taken bets on what time you will take your leave. They have sniffed out your Fade long before you ever arrived and your predictability has become a game to them. You make one last attempt to find a girl on the Red Door dance floor, but when you come away empty handed you loudly proclaim “My girlfriend is hotter than every girl in this bar!”

Pretending to head for the bathroom, you slip out the backdoor, b-line for Dominos, pick up a pizza and hail a cab headed back to girlfriend-town. You wonder how long it will be before your friends notice you are gone, however, they knew from the moment you proclaimed the evening a “fellas night” you’d pull “the Cop-out” by midnight.

 Veni, Vedi, Fade

You’ve left your homeland in search of greener grass. You prepare vigilantly for battle in an unknown territory, make beneficial alliances, train your troops etc. Your attempt to take over this new land sparks excitement and overwhelming self-satisfaction. But…… after several small/forgettable victories you begin to miss what’s familiar. You make clandestine weekend trips back to the motherland and engage in epic “softness” – severely weakening your arsenal, rendering you impotent in your effort to expand. Realizing you are outgunned, lack resources, and no longer have the will to fight- you leave with your tail tucked firmly in between your legs, disappearing into relative obscurity. Rightful balance is restored to the world and everyone sleeps a little better at night.

The Covert Operation

Its new years eve and the stroke of midnight is quickly approaching. you haven’t been spitting much game throughout the night, but would appreciate putting your tongue down some random girls’ mouth once the clock hits midnight.
you realize that the only way to pull ass in a matter of seconds, is that you have to reduce the standards which you normally uphold to. to do this, you have to perform “the covert operation” in which as you scout the bar looking for some slut, but at the same time making sure none of the fellas you rode to the bar with will notice.
as the clock strikes twelve, you move in for the kill and violently make out with this random girl. as you go to pull away, you turn around, and notice that father has been there all along.
Payback is a bitch for the freshman video. you should have gone stealth or pulled a fade.

 

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